Oi oi kidz. It’s nearly f*ckin Chriiiiiistmaaaaas! And that meanz me and me pals are back takin’ over this sh*t piece of a blog that the reindeers dragged in from the backyard between now and Christmas eve, postin’ some shite to warm yer winter earz and arses to.
And f*ck me, look whooooze back. Remember this lass? Because We Want To woz a banger wasn’t it? And what about Honey to the Bee? Then she became a high-class hooker and after that tried to get into Dr Who’s pants. What a girl. Sounds a bit like Mrs Claus. She's always tryin' to get in my pants, but I keep tellin' 'er Christmas comes once a year and she'll have to wait. Now Billie’s havin’ another go at the old music, and this ain’t half bad. Not as good as Because We Want To mind you. What? Ey? Wha’ ya sayin? This ain’t that Billie? Oh for f*cks sake. I think oi’ve ‘ad too much of the old Christmas sherry already. Well, ‘tis the season to be jolly ain’t it?
So this Billie lass, she seems alright. She’s fookin’ dreamin’ of a white Christmas is she? She really ought to come up ‘ere to bloody Lapland then. We’ve got loads of the fuckin’ white stuff. There’s a few bits of yellow as well. Pesky elves – they’ve been pissin’ in it as well.
Right ho. Time for another sherry. Happy f*ckin Christmas kids. Let’s get rat-arsed.
Billie Marten - White Christmas
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