New Music: The Big Moon - It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

Hello everyone. Tezza here. As you can see I’m really getting into the holiday spirit with my new Cabinet Minister for Festivities. – the bastard doesn’t look very happy about it does he though? Maybe he’s been having words with Boris about his new boss? What a toss pot.

I hope you’re all looking forward to a hard Christmas. I’ve got a plan for mine, but I’m not going to tell anyone what it is. You’ll just all have to wait and see – maybe it won’t even be on Dec 25th. Maybe it’ll take 10 years before we have another one. But I’ll tell you one thing - my husband Phillip is in for a treat. I’ve got some very special leather trousers to go with my naughty elf costume I like to wear for him on Christmas day whilst he puts on his hanky-panky Santa tinsel thong and we dance around Downing Street to our favourite Christmas tunes.

Here’s one that I might get one of the slaves Downing Street staff to put on the stereo. They’re called The Big Moon and apparently they’re what’s known as an 'indie rock band'. Well, I have to confess I don’t know much about that, but they’ve got some jingle bells which is the right and proper thing to do and they’ve covered It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year, which it certainly is if you’re me, because I’M F*CKING IN CHARGE NOW rather than the pig f*cker. Happy Christmas everyone, this is Tezz signing off, I'm off for a nice Paella and a Belgian beer now with David Davis before we get down to a game of naked Twister as we like to do on the run up to Christmas in the House of Commons meeting rooms every year.

The Big Moon - It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year