What you looking at? Stop f*cking laughing at my f*cking red nose you fucking c*nts. Haven’t you ever seen a f*cking red nose before? Haven’t you heard that it’s f*cking Christmas eve tonight and that I’ve got to f*cking get tied up with the stupidly named Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen and go and pull a f*ckin’ ridiculously heavy sleigh with a fat man in a red coat sitting on top of it all across the f*ckin world? Someone should call the RSPCA.
Actually I quite like the name Donner. Not as good as Rudolph of course (yeah you can call me Rude-Oaf if you want, just like the poxy elves do). Donner reminds me of a kebab and to be really f*ckin’ honest I’d rather be out down the high street getting lashed with the other reindeer lads in a pub, getting in a drunken fight and then scoffing that kebab before I’m sick than doing this present delivery shite, but you know, it’s tradition and all that.
So think of me tonight whilst you’re all having fun on Christmas eve.
Oh yeah, I’m meant to be choosing a Christmas tune to feature on this blog. F*ck it here ya go. This one's pissing good - synths and sax. Have a bleak f*cking Christmas.
Lovestarrs - Tinsel
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